


Splashes and Gossip

by stubliminalmessaging



Category: The Hobbit (2012)
Genre: Gen, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-01-09
Updated: 2013-01-09
Packaged: 2017-11-24 07:05:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 688
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/631751
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/stubliminalmessaging/pseuds/stubliminalmessaging
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>At the insistence of their burglar, the Company stops at a calm river to do some much-needed bathing. Of course, they can't resist reflecting on certain behaviours of their comrades while they're at it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Splashes and Gossip

**Author's Note:**

> I know I tagged this as being Bagginshield and Fili/Thorin but I was referring to implications that they might be in a relationship/might have hooked up before. Sorry if you came here looking for that.
> 
> Also a note: while I was trying to write a fill for a Fili/Kili beard braiding prompt for the kink meme over on lj, I started this and it got away from me so I turned it into something separate. Enjoy.

It seemed like all of the dwarves were fairly comfortable in their own filth, especially the older ones with their deteriorated senses of smell. Bilbo, however, was not, nor did he appreciate being in the presence of these thirteen particularly filthy dwarves. So, after what seemed like endless whining from the hobbit and just as many snaps from Thorin for him to stop his whining, the king eventually gave in and allowed a stopover at a shallow river and ordered the party to wash themselves.

This order was mostly ignored by the older dwarves, who just washed their innermost later of clothes to cut down on the stench and appease their leader. The younger and more social dwarves of the party opted to wash themselves more thoroughly. They enjoyed spending time around the fun little hobbit, and if smelling bad and being caked in unknown substances was preventing Bilbo from wanting to spend time with them, then they would work to rectify it.

Bilbo, always the shy and bashful creature, took to a patch of river around a bend to avoid being naked in front of the party. He only grudgingly agreed to allow Thorin to go with him after Bofur told him about the large snakes and carnivorous fish and insects that probably inhabited the river. And only then if Thorin agreed to bring his sword.

The rest of the dwarves, though, were much less reserved. Being as close as they were to each other (a good number of them being siblings) they had seen each other nude before and it did not trouble them in the slightest. After stripping bare and slipping into the water, they began bathing. They found that, despite how strange a suggestion it had seemed from the hobbit, it did feel nice to scrub to grit and grime from their skin. Ori tentatively suggested that perhaps from there on out, they ought to wash themselves more often, and Bofur agreed, adding that the water was cool and refreshing, even with the possibility of an encounter with the local wildlife.

Kili and Fili occupied themselves with gossip while they took turns scrubbing the filth off of each other. While Fili attempted to untangle the rat’s nest that was his brother’s hair, Kili mused about the newly-budding relationship that seemed to be developing between Bilbo and Thorin. Fili snorted and shoved his brother’s head underwater. When Kili surfaced, sputtering and flailing and looking reminiscent of a drowned rodent, Fili asked him when squabbling only twice a day constituted a relationship. Kili retorted that he was almost certain they were fucking, which earned a gasp from Ori and a stern warning from Bofur not to disrespect their leader by talking about him behind his back.

Kili cocked an eyebrow at Bofur while Fili scrubbed the dirt from behind his broad ears. He asked Bofur what he figured was going on between them then. Bofur said that perhaps Bilbo had finally grown comfortable around them and was finding less to complain about as their journey progressed. Kili disagreed, reasoning that Thorin was not the type to just let things go without addressing them, so there must have been a confrontation between him and Bilbo to put some things to rest. Fili snickered, adding that it must have been a sexy passionate confrontation, and that if anything was ‘laid to rest’ it would be that hobbit, underneath him, because Thorin was like that. Maybe. Probably.

Bofur tried to protest to the contrary but Kili cut him off, whipping around and jabbing an accusing finger into his brother’s chest. Smirking, he accused Fili of knowing about ‘how Thorin is’ through experience, and that he has known all along that something had happened between them. Fili growled that since he had been drunk, it did not count, after which Kili shoved him over and pounced on his back. He struggled to hold his more built and dangerously flailing brother’s blond head underwater.

Bofur resigned himself to sighing something about slutty royal nephews defiling anything with a hole, then waded over to Ori and asked him to wash his back.


End file.
